The How and Why
Matt Lackey was a chef, a friend, a brother, a lover, a creative, a passion follower, and an inspiration. The day Matt Lackey died, he was hiking in the Colorado Rockies with his two best friends, chasing a rockies mountain goat, laughing the words, “If I die today, I will die incredibly happy.” Jocasta Hanson, owner of Honey Elixir Bar in Denver, Colorado, and best friends with Matt, thought Honey needed a piece of artwork in tribute to our passed friend; A goat. So, without hesitation, I got to work. It just so happens that I am a Capricorn, the goat of the zodiac signs, and born in 1991, the year of the goat. This piece quickly meant a lot more to me than just a tribute to Matt. It was an opportunity to look deeply within myself, and somehow, draw it. I always learn while I draw, about the world and about myself. This one, in particular, was an exceptional teacher.
To the friends who chase goats off-trail in the
happiest moments of their life,
to the dad-trucks careening into large sturdy trees,
to the childhood homes receding in the rearview mirror,
to the parents who are no longer in love,
to the ex-lovers who thought they could break you,
to each moment not spent loving yourself.
This is my dedication.
This is how I let you go.
This is how I remind myself everything happens as it is meant to.
This is heartbreak, trauma, struggle, and suffering.
This is a weight of the world kind of sadness,
an out of control wildfire kind of anger,
and a lost in space kind of helplessness.
This is confusion, and envy, and fear.
This is becoming:
This is A Transformation.
This is the calm, the storm, and the triumph.
This is passionate joy, romantic desire, and understanding empathy.
This is the chest explosion kind of ecstasy,
and the dance in the rain kind of elation.
This is an expression of emotion, unexplainable by words.
This. This is Creation.
This is my dark.
This is my Light.
And it is for You.